what if you took a toilet plunger, pulled the handle off and drilled out the center to the same dia as the pump nozzles?
probably want to chamfer both ends of the drill hole and lube it with white grease or something.
slide it onto the nozzle "backwards" so it seals ( kind of ) the pump apparatus.
worst case, you could always use two 5 gal cans. pump into one while a helper dumps the other into the car.
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